Humne kya khoya, humne kya paaya?

My short US visit is coming to an end. I(along with a couple other engineers) were here to support our client through an important release and though I didn't expect much of myself, I am happy that my team did a great job and made valuable contribution to this client. It has been hectic 7 weeks here but now that it's coming to an end, my team has every reason to feel satisfied and celebrate. It's friday night and we have just returned from the office, One of those rare days when we know there is nothing pending for tomorrow! One of those occasions when we will be happy we won't be needed. We fly back home on Monday and I can't help reflecting upon this journey and how far we have come in these 7 weeks. More importantly, how far we have made this client go in these 7 weeks. 

Content and excited, I call home. Wife fills me in on the kid's progress. She tells me how he has started picking new words, how he mimicks her sometimes, that he has learnt to climb down from the bed, how he is getting friendlier to strangers, how he....

I listen intently with much joy but quickly a throbbing pain grips me. I realise what all I am missing--and man, ain't I missing a lot! True, it's only been 7 weeks but as a colleague puts it--7 weeks away from a 15 month old is an awfully long time if you count the percentages!

Alas, how far have I gone in these 7 weeks!

Crime and Punishment!

Something happened a couple of weeks ago that triggered a big debate at home. Here’s what happened:

A cousin of mine recently got engaged (the arranged way). Now, this fellow is a few years younger to me and though we aren’t close by any means, I know him as decent, straight forward guy. He is very highly educated and works for one of the very reputed MNCs of India.

When we got to know of his engagement, we all were very happy. Parents and sis attended the ring ceremony, and all of us were looking forward to his marriage in December.

Two weeks back, we got a call from his mother (Who is mom’s cousin) telling us that the engagement is called off. Reason?  It came to light that the girl had an affair with someone in the past and also had a physical relationship. Also, this entire thing was brought to my cousin’s attention by the girl’s ex and when asked, the girl confessed to everything..

When our initial shock settled, everyone at home started giving their opinions.  We were naturally disgusted and everybody concluded that at the very least, the girl should have confided in my cousin and told him everything right when the engagement was being finalized.

When I started thinking about it more seriously, I tried to look at it from that girl’s point of view. I wasn’t being sympathetic to her (infact, I am enraged at her) but the point is that if I were a girl and if I had a (physical) relationship when I wasn’t married, what options I had if the relationship didn’t work?  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is almost a crime to be involved in a relationship (being a girl) before marriage if the relationship doesn’t work. If I have a failed relationship, it is difficult for me to fall in love again because how would I trust any other guy? So, I decide to go the arranged marriage way where atleast the families or backgrounds are generally known. In this case, while arranged marriage procedures are going on, the question is do I confess about my past to my future husband? If I don’t, I will carry so much guilt (and the risk of him or his family finding out in some way). If I do tell him, what are the chances that he will still accept me?

I don’t sympathize with that girl. She made a mistake and she should face the consequences. My point is that are the consequences that she will face, in accordance with her mistake?  We don’t know, she may already be repenting for her mistake and wants to correct that and lead a more mature and normal life. As a society, do we give her a chance?  

I am afraid not, especially when the person in question is a girl.

 

 

 

PS: While I was raising all these questions at home, Sister raised a brilliant question. She said that if she was engaged with someone (the arranged way) and if we got to know that the boy had a physical relationship with someone in the past, what would be my reaction?

That’s got me thinking. I specialize in asking difficult questions but do I have the courage to answer them?  Honestly speaking, I am still finding an answer. And maybe that explains why we are the kind of society that we are…..

   

Quote of the week!

From the on-screen ticker during MTV's 'Kickass Mornings' Show:

"Kolkata whips Banglore, Mumbai wanna kick Delhi's ass!!
How is IPL any different from MNS? Seriously!"

Tum aa gaye ho....

Wife delivered a baby boy last friday(04-Apr). Both the mother and the baby are fine!!

Game On!

Have been taking extensive weekend travelling since past few weeks, mostly by trains. Been having very amusing experiences and below is the most recent one:

A big family with about 5-6 kids aged 6-10 years is my neighbor. The kids are playing ‘Dumb Charades’. A boy stands up to start explaining the movie name given to him.

He starts by pointing outside the window.
Group: Earth?
Boy (with guttural sounds and shaking his head): Urgh
Group: Zameen, Platform?
Boy (continuing his guttural sounds and shaking his head): Urgh
Group: Tracks?
At this stage, the boy’s eyes sparkle. He gestures that the word is related to ‘Tracks’.
Group: Iron?
More sparkle in the boy’s eyes. The word is a synonym of ‘Iron’.
Group: Lokhand?
Yes, that’s the word. Boy is emphatic but the group is clueless. A word called ‘Lokhand’ in a Hindi movie name?
Suddenly, someone from the group has an inspiration. ‘Shootout at Lokhandwala?’
There you go, the boy gestures!

While the group continues with the game, I have a thought. If I were to act out this name, I would have gone for the word ‘shootout’. I think most adults would have. Primarily because it is easier to explain that word rather than explain a word like ‘Lokhandwala’!

May be we adults play to simplify, the kids play to complicate!

Hilarious!

Someone sent me this via email today:

New words added to dictionary --- Bucknor & Benson

Bucknor: (n) (adj)
1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.
2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.
Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.

Benson: (n) (adj)
1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.
Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.
Also see bucknor .

Thank you, Team India!!

Team India, the second test match against Australia was no less than a nightmare for you all.

Not because your were playing Australia in Australia; not because you didn’t get much time to get acclimatized to conditions; not because you were too short of experienced pacers; but because those whose job is to ensure that the game is conducted in a fair manner failed miserably in their duty.

Umpires are humans; they are bound to make mistakes. But there is no justification for so many mistakes and most of them against only one of the two teams.

Most of the mistakes weren’t close calls; they were plain horrendous oversights.

And these ‘mistakes’ have been happening from day 1 of the test match.

It’s as if you were playing against a team of 13(and a certain 2 of them certainly more powerful than the 11).

It’s like playing football against Brazil with 3 of your team members out due to red card.

It’s like running a hurdles race with an ankle injury.

It’s like competing in a Formula one race knowing that every few laps, some official will flatten your tires, while the others will continue racing.

You all still played and how!

You wiped off all your frustration, didn’t make much of all those controversial decisions and played with complete focus and professionalism. And you still made a match of what was nothing but a farce! You played like real champs, my team!

There was no way you could have won this match but to make the draw a real possibility is no less an achievement! And even if we forget all the wrong decisions of the first three innings, if you hadn’t suffered a couple of umpiring blunders in the fourth, you would have still drawn the match! Even after those wrong decisions, you played with business-like professionalism and most importantly, you gave a lion-hearted fight!

Sometimes, life makes you walk even when there is no journey. This test match was no different for you.

Australia may have won this test match, but one can’t say that you lost it!

Proud of you all, my team!!