Crime and Punishment!

Something happened a couple of weeks ago that triggered a big debate at home. Here’s what happened:

A cousin of mine recently got engaged (the arranged way). Now, this fellow is a few years younger to me and though we aren’t close by any means, I know him as decent, straight forward guy. He is very highly educated and works for one of the very reputed MNCs of India.

When we got to know of his engagement, we all were very happy. Parents and sis attended the ring ceremony, and all of us were looking forward to his marriage in December.

Two weeks back, we got a call from his mother (Who is mom’s cousin) telling us that the engagement is called off. Reason?  It came to light that the girl had an affair with someone in the past and also had a physical relationship. Also, this entire thing was brought to my cousin’s attention by the girl’s ex and when asked, the girl confessed to everything..

When our initial shock settled, everyone at home started giving their opinions.  We were naturally disgusted and everybody concluded that at the very least, the girl should have confided in my cousin and told him everything right when the engagement was being finalized.

When I started thinking about it more seriously, I tried to look at it from that girl’s point of view. I wasn’t being sympathetic to her (infact, I am enraged at her) but the point is that if I were a girl and if I had a (physical) relationship when I wasn’t married, what options I had if the relationship didn’t work?  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is almost a crime to be involved in a relationship (being a girl) before marriage if the relationship doesn’t work. If I have a failed relationship, it is difficult for me to fall in love again because how would I trust any other guy? So, I decide to go the arranged marriage way where atleast the families or backgrounds are generally known. In this case, while arranged marriage procedures are going on, the question is do I confess about my past to my future husband? If I don’t, I will carry so much guilt (and the risk of him or his family finding out in some way). If I do tell him, what are the chances that he will still accept me?

I don’t sympathize with that girl. She made a mistake and she should face the consequences. My point is that are the consequences that she will face, in accordance with her mistake?  We don’t know, she may already be repenting for her mistake and wants to correct that and lead a more mature and normal life. As a society, do we give her a chance?  

I am afraid not, especially when the person in question is a girl.

 

 

 

PS: While I was raising all these questions at home, Sister raised a brilliant question. She said that if she was engaged with someone (the arranged way) and if we got to know that the boy had a physical relationship with someone in the past, what would be my reaction?

That’s got me thinking. I specialize in asking difficult questions but do I have the courage to answer them?  Honestly speaking, I am still finding an answer. And maybe that explains why we are the kind of society that we are…..